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The Crunchy Sound of Fallen Leaves in Autumn
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| | Subject: | blah | | Time: | 10:24 am |
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| i feel sloppy. i feel messy. i feel lazy. i feel out of control. i feel frazzled. i feel overwhelmed.
all.the.time.
now is the best time for me to make change - big change.
i want to be healthy. i want to be a good student. i want to be prepared before every class. i want to sleep at least 6 hours every night. i want to go to the gym everyday. i don't want to be running late all the time. i want time to walk to the bart so i dont have to drive so much. i want time to do my hair/makeup everyday. i want to be more active in pursuing my causes.
i want to feel good everyday.
i will do this. i will do this. |   |
| it's a very surreal feeling, but it's what needs to happen.
i love him very much, and we gave it our best.
but it's just not working anymore.
4 years, 9 months and 1 day later, it ends. | | |
| | Subject: | so... | | Time: | 06:24 pm |
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| it may or may not be official, but it's definitely pending...
i am moving to the 'hood.
oakland, get ready, cuz i think i'm coming. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| hey all,
in less than 12 hours, this bitch will have started and completed her last final of the semester.
so, that means, in less than 12 hours, this bitch will have COMPLETED HER FIRST YEAR of law school.
woOOOoooohoOOOOo.
sooooooOOoo, THAT means that in about 11 hours, this bitch will be drunk off her asssssss.
all and any calls/texts at noon would be LOVED and appreciated.
i want to share this happiness with everyone i love! :) | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | girls | | Time: | 10:01 pm |
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| i don't like girls.
nosiree, i don't.
i'm glad i wasn't born a guy, cuz then i'd have to be gay. and life isn't easy for the gays. | | |
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i know i said i was "over them" but... here's the thing:
1) old habits die hard
2) it's the decemberists with the LA PHILHARMONIC!
3) and, well, that's a guaranteed 2 or so hour orgasm.
colin and jenny, even though you've been disappointing me a bit, i still love you.
and yes, colin, i will still have all your babies. | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| yesterday, my grandfather died.
my dad no longer has any living parents.
while it is extremely upsetting that my grandfather passed, it's really sweet the way it happened. he passed in his sleep, exactly two months after my grandma died.
his health was terrible, and had been for years. his condition was so bad that he could have passed at least five years ago. it is now obvious that he fought for as long as he did because he didn't want to leave my grandma alone. i know he was only living for her. she was the love of his life.
now they have reunited. and that comforts me.
when my grandma passed, we were unsure if he was mentally capable of realizing her death. a part of us all kind of hoped he wasn't so he wouldn't have to experience everything that comes with the death of a spouse. but he was. he was fully aware.
he told us, "i know she's gone. i am alone. my love left me."
it kills me that my asshole of an uncle refused to move my grandpa into their house in the short life he lived after my grandma passed.
my grandpa died in the garage alone. the servant found him in the morning.
i will never forget what a terrible person my uncle is. he does not deserve to be forgiven and as far as i am concerned, never will.
seriously, fuck getting older. life is so much easier when you aren't capable of experiencing sadness and sorrow.
i am aching for my father. i can't even imagine the pain he is going through right now.
he flies out to india tonight. i don't want him to be on the flight alone. i don't want him to have to be by himself for a 20 some hour flight. i don't even want to know what that will be like for him.
i had a dream a few nights ago that the ceiling in our house collapsed. i woke up and my heart was beating a mile a minute and i couldn't breathe.
my mom and dad say a ceiling represents a father figure.
after i told my mom about the dream, she called my grandpa to check in on him. why i didn't trust my mom's instinct and call my grandpa just to tell him i love him is beyond me.
hindsight is always 20/20.
it seems like just a few years ago that all my grandparents were living. today, i only have one. | | |
| so, i broke my phone. yes, i am an idiot.
i need numbers. lots. i lost about 150. damn.
please email me at vwcybele8@hotmail.com or seemasood@gmail.com to give me your number again.
also, if you have family/loved ones that i am close to, please email me theirs, too.
thanks. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| two movies i am so looking forward to:
1) The Namesake: this movie is based on a book written by Jhumpa Lahiri. Kumar (of "Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle") is in it. I have no doubt that the movie will not measure up to her book, because 1) movies are NEVER as good as the books and 2) her book was amazing. however, i am still extremely excited to see the movie.
2) 300: this movie looks so fucking visually stunning and the acting (albeit, in the trailer) looks fucking fierce and so raw. i CANNOT wait to see it. if you havent seen the trailer yet, i suggest you all look into it and when you do, turn your speakers on. loud. i am dying to see this one. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| zodiac was awesome.
it was 2 hours and 40 minutes long and normally that'd kill me, but i'm ready to do it again.
i really enjoyed the movie.
besides the obviously awesome storyline, i thought the casting director did a great job. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| i've got my second midterm saturday -- lame.
after the midterm, ima eat non-diet food -- awesome
and then ima see zodiac with mr. b -- again, awesome.
on march 10th, i have my third of three midterms -- super lame
and then ima drink with law school friends (read: fellow nerds) from about 10:30am to 2 or so in the afternoon -- super awesome.
then ima meet brian in the city and we're gonna celebrate valentine's day (yes, almost a month late).
for this, i am extremely excited.
we are going to stay here
and then we are going to eat here.
ima either get the poussin (which is chicken, you sick fucks), or the lobster, or some prawn dish. brian's prolly gonna get the grilled rack of lamb.
we are also gonna get a bottle of zinfandel.
we will have a delicious bottle of port awaiting our arrival in the hotel room.
now, if i could just get through these damn exams with no more than minor injuries, all will be well in the world. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| EEEEAAAARRRRRRRTHQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
s'like earthquake season or some shit because there have been like a million in a less than a week. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| in speaking about ellen degeneres, barbara walters said:
"and she said portia's the one."
i just felt my heart break a little.
;) | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| in studying for my contracts midterm that is tomorrow, i was reminded of the fact that i am pretty stupid and that there are a lot of people i wish i was as smart as.
here goes.
my dad
my mom
mr. vicker
professor zook
professor stroker
brian clark jennings
john lawrence rose
daniel mulherin (please, don't let it get to your head)
scott westrick (yeah, get off it)
my uncle
dr. steinbach
christopher hyle
kira grinberg
sheila flanagan
marisa soto
brendan shapiro
these people are not just smart as in "yeah, i know a lot of stuff" smart, but they have that really awesome, unique intelligence where their brains just work in awesome fucking ways.
life must be so much easier when you're that smart.
oh, there was an awesome earthquake today. nothing fell, but my windows were definitely rattling. i remember thinking to myself "hmm.. should i be doing something, uhmmm..... i think i should hold on to my laptop. also, earthquake, dear earthquake, please don't last too long, i have a midterm tomorrow that i still need to study for."
i am OFFICIALLY a nerd. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| my grandmother passed away today,
she was 82 years old.
i am trying to focus on the fact that she lived such a long life, but it's hard.
she lived like a princess when she was growing up.
in her later life she did not have the best living conditions, but she always somehow managed to put a smile on her face.
everytime he got to see her, or talked to her on the phone, my dad was as happy as a little kid in a candy store. they had a great bond and i know (and i'm sure he knows) that he was her favorite.
she was always so warm, fun and silly to be with.
her laugh is the cutest laugh in the world.
when i'd go to india, my favorite part of the trip was ALWAYS when me and her would lay on her bed and she'd rub my back and tell me the most random and hilarious stories.
we had a communication barrier, but i never felt it because of the love she'd shower me with.
no words will ever capture the feeling i have in my heart when i think about her.
she will always have a special place in my life. she was one of the most beautiful people in my life.
i will always miss you amma ji. | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
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The Crunchy Sound of Fallen Leaves in Autumn
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